5 Bengalurian learnings

It has been almost 3 months, since I moved to Bangalore, and I should admit it has groomed me, a lottt! I feel like I was put through a test of time, coz, in a matter of 90 days (max) I had been through various phases (emotional) viz.,

• The immensely cozy and overtly pampered phase
• The Duh-I-am-gonna-die-alone phase
• The I too have company phase
• The you can survive phase
• The cool apartment phase
• The auto-wallas-rob-you-blind phase
• The talk to my hand phase
• The I can survive anything phase, etc., etc.

Going through all these phases in a vicious cycle, alone, is effectively an emotional-roller-coaster ride. I am thankful that it didn't turn out to be a Final Destination one. I may not be the fittest to survive but am definitely getting fitter with every phase, every-single-time. Here's 5 different things Bangalore taught me, the real hard way :

5. Am I Home sick???? Naaah! It is Tamil-sick or rather, Chennai-sick!! 

          I had always dreamt about staying on my own, away from home and now that I am, I realise - I get home Chennai/ Tamil-sick very often. Days are just fine, until the fact that its been over a fortnight I visited Chennai, hits me hard. And then, I am pushed into the Compulsive-Disorder-Zone to make Bangalore-Chennai tickets, for the earliest weekend and that too, with a Friday/ Monday leave, if possible.

4. Invariably nice people NEVER exist

          If somebody you just met, is nice to you, either they need a favor or they're gonna hit you so hard that you will need a lot of time to revert. Only a handful of them can actually be nice, with no Terms and Conditions applied, and they are called Friends. Gud ol' pals!

3. Out of the Friend-making zone

          We do meet, chat, work, eat, hang out with lots of people, more than often on a daily basis. Yet there's an invincible boulder inbetween. We grasp the thin difference between Acquaintances and Friends. The latter are those we already have and will only fail trying to make now. We all start looking forward to that one long chat with that one/ a bunch of friends, every now and then.

2. Reverse Finance lessons

          Gone are the days of earn-spend-save-earn cycle. It is time to spend on credit and then earn to refill the credit, whilst, Save only means "Ctrl + S". Genius is the man who invented this concept of buy now, pay later. Survival is all about planning this credit for the last week of every month.

1. Success isn't just what you accomplish but what you inspire others to do.

           I might not love my job (Nobody loves their job, anyway!) , but I, for sure, like it and I am definitely putting in my best to make things work. I am pretty good at what I do. Miracles do happen. Yet, there's this tiny little voice inside my head, that keeps yelling with all its might - "WTH am I doing here?" May be this is just not my cup of tea. There are a hundred reasons as to why this is not my kinda place but I am hoping to find one reason that will make me stay, longer.

Counting my blessings ...

The new life in the new city with nothing much to do apart from work, spending most of the time aloof, gave me a lot of time to think about a lot of stuffs. Mainly about the different types of people who play a vital role in my life and that's when I realized - It's high time I started counting my blessings.

I always have that one person who

~ comes out of nowhere just so I don't feel lonely

~ is always there for last minute scurry-hurry shopping

~ never fails to ask on the day's happenings

~ is not bothered by the distance to visit me

~ calls with nothing at all to talk

~ is always there to hear my incessant rants

~ is the overnight chat companion

~ talks more to my mom than me

~ is the ever-so-concerned one

~ never ends a day without tipping me off

~ loves my cooking

~ is always there to appreciate even my teeny-weeny efforts

~ simply takes, not borrows, the nice cute stuff I get

~ never lets me eat a chocolate in peace

~ lends a shoulder even if the crap is mine

~ beats the shit out of me, just so I realize the wrong-gone-part

~ loves the same music and movies as me

~ matches my level of idiocy/ craziness

~ knows me so much, that I dread to leave them with anybody else

~ has truck load of my shortcomings, yet never gives up on me

~ hates the same people as me / for me

~ is just a phone call away

~ can guage my mood simply with my texts

~ just cannot leave me alone until I am alright

~ makes it a point to simply argue for every dumb reason

~ even after a long argument, is just as normal as always

~ never stops advising even though I wouldn't listen to any

~ has no *Conditions apply

~ lets me just be me

~ makes me wish  things never change, ever!

. . . and still counting.

I just feel overtly blessed coz I have more than one person who fits in each of these roles and most of them play multiple roles too..

*touchwood*

How lucky am I?

*sniff* *sniff* Happy tears!

PS: If you can relate yourself to atleast one of the above said with me, then YOU are my blessing.

I will (not) miss...

New year.. New place.. New people.. New job.. New everything..

Something that I have always wanted to happen and it is all happening now!

Here I am, literally, wondering what is that I will miss the most or will I ever?!

I will/ will not miss ...

• All night movie (or series?!) marathon
• Alarm that goes off at 9 am
• Snoozes that follow it
• Riding around the city
• Marina mornings and evenings too
• Friends who always appear from nowhere as if from next door
• Sense of belonging and pride
• Home food
• Looong lunch buffets
• Volunteering opportunities
• Endless meetings
• Reading books through the day and night
• Just doing nothing
• Playing Candy Crush (Duh!)
• Yapping around mom
• Sweaty hot summer
• Hot winter

and, the list doesn't end there...

Emm - Cee - Queues

Multiple Choice Questions have always been my worst nightmares and somehow, still continue to be. I can hardly get my descriptive answers wrong and hardly get my MCQs right. Duh! Had there been no concept of MCQs in my exams, my scores would have definitely been way better.

Drifting back to the present, the latest challenge being Canon Vs Nikon. There are 'n' other brands, but rounding up to these two was never a problem. Trust me, it is the toughest phase I had to go through in my life. I visited every possible photographer's blog on their gadgets. Sadly, almost none of them could help the beginners and first timers. It was that stage when, even Google was tired of my comparative studies.

There is this common notion that Canon suits best for Nature and Nikon for People, but what if I want both? That is the question I was trying to find an answer to, all efforts in vain by EOD, every-single-day.

No wonder my Chrome kept crashing!

After long sleepless nights, after those never ending browsing sessions, after so many pointless discussions, after the countless dilemmas and heart-aching head breaks, there dawns a clarity. A clear headedness, where everything simply falls into place.

NIKON - it is!

And here's Why...

Coz, my first ever, Digi-cam, a gift, was Nikon.

Coz, my Bridge cam, from appa, is Nikon.

Also,

Coz, I knew I'd want my first DSLR to be a Nikon too.

Nikon has never failed me and I'm sure it never will.

To Love or not to Love

It was just another weekend, until we gathered post session, at one of our very common refuge. Lazily munching on the hot sandwiches and sipping the no-ice juices on a cold (yeah! trust me, it was a real chilly weather!!) Chennai afternoon, we ratted incessantly on various possible topics, incoherently, of course!

It was one such random yapping that made me think, a lot. The topic is, indeed, a sensitive one - Adolescent Love interests.

My mom was in her adolescent phase in her late teens. I was through mine in my teens. Now, my sister is through hers, which is in her pretty early teens. Yeah! You heard it right! Adolescence is no more linked to the teenage. This is what that actually causes the, so called, Generation gap. Even though parents/ adults may have been through the same issues, when it comes to explaining stuff to their kids who are a lot younger than what they were, they are CLUELESS!!

Okay! let's not get into the Psycho of the analysis of the theory of the adolescent of the issue!

There was this very smart, very chatty kid, who amused me by his silence one day. I walked up to him and initiated a conversation to which he responded vaguely. The one kid, who can never shut up was now hardly talking. It is never a good feeling to watch a kid with no smile on his face, you know. So, I just kept talking to him about random stuffs and finally he spoke out. I was stupefied, when the words reached my ears - He had quarreled with his girl friend. Did I not mention his class? He was in the 8th grade, yeah, E-I-G-H-T, and they have been "BF-GF" for 2 years now, that's right - T-W-O!

And many such stories... Yet, just one question! How do you address them?

• Do you think you can be a stringent adult and enforce acts on the poor kid? There is this thin line between fear and hatred, never push your limits. Its happiness that always counts.
• Or do you think we have to completely shut them off from the opposite gender? That's right, talking to a stranger is a crime, you can only marry one! 
• Or tell them about bad endings instead of bedtime stories and create an aversion towards the other gender? So... It's okay if your kid is not straight?! 
• Shouldn't we advice them against eloping or teen romance? That would have never occurred to them. Thanks much for sowing the thought!

I know there will be a 101 thoughts rampaging through the vacuum in your heads, but put that small brain to proper use and come up with some feasible ideas to address the concern.

Scientifically, it is just the hormones playing in the head or heart or whatever! They have an early hormone surge, we just fail to understand its neither their fault nor ours.

What even makes you think your never-ending philosophies and advice are gonna miraculously evaporate those hormones and exterminate those feelings?

1. Teach your kids to be happy, immaterial of how others make them feel. Their happiness should be immune to the social and interpersonal factors. This encourages them to think for themselves rather than depending on others to make a decision. When you are happy, you are clear headed and every other problem that pops up seems petty and can be solved in a jiffy. Happy kids feel more secure.
2. Teach your kids to be a narcissist - that is, to love themselves unconditionally. They should love everything about them - the way they look, what they study, where they work, how much they they earn - just everything. This sense of self content plays a major role in the decision making process. This also helps get over complex issues and builds self confidence.
3. Practice the 98-2 theory - Never give up anything for anybody, ever! Compromises can constitute only to about 2% of the entire journey. The remaining 98% is all about the "Never say die" attitude. On the otherhand, if you are a 100% confident about something, just do it. Coz, the oppurtunity once missed might never pop again.
4. NEVER repeat your mistakes - It is good to make mistakes (yeah! you read that right!) As long as you learn from them and make it a point, NEVER to repeat that mistake ever! Make new mistakes every time. Also, NEVER do things that you cannot brag in front of others, because such things are, usually, either illegal, improper or immoral.
5. Encourage being friends with opposite gender - how else do you think shes gonna earn you in dollars without having a sane conversation with a colleague/lead who happens to have an XY chromosome? Or would you prefer your son to be single, ever? Tell them your experiences/ stories that address gender issues in a gentle and optimistic approach.
6. Be a friend and let them know you will always be there for them. Being a parent or a sibling, is just easy as sailing on a boat. Whilst being a friend is like building a boat, needs tremendous efforts. There is no better feeling than knowing that they have somebody they can count on by the end of the day, be it good or bad.

And again, all these things, the kids should learn from you and not hear from you. When they get to hear, it is received as advice and it hardly reaches their ear, forget the brain. If, it happens even after you being all the above, don't give up. Just continue to be a friend and eventually, its great if he gets through safe and sound, otherwise, the kid will need you. And see to it, you are right there to hold him when he trips.

Afterall, Learning is best when it is done from one's own mistakes.